Where there's smoke...there's...🔥

 Misbehaviour/challenging behaviour is smoke. Follow it down to where it originated. There you will find where the trouble is. 

We spend too much time tending to the smoke. Think of misbehaviour as a signal (like smoke) that there’s a problem somewhere to be solved. 

And by problem I mean a mis-fit between demands/expectations placed on a child, and the child’s ability to deal with those. 

We have to address both things i.e. (1) the demand may need to be adjusted and (2) what skills does the child need to be able to deal with the demand

Remember if kids could do well, they will do well

Children, like everyone else do not deliberately cause trouble for themselves though it sometimes appears that way. It’s part of our role to help our children deal adaptively to problems they face.