Huddle Wisdom
The hardest part of parenting is often understanding what we cannot see
Most parents I meet are already trying very hard.
They read. They reflect. They look for better ways to respond.
The difficulty is that parenting decisions are rarely made in calm conditions.
They are made when a child is upset, when parents are tired, and when the usual approaches do not seem to work.
Over time, I have become less interested in collecting more parenting strategies.
I have become more interested in the ideas that sit underneath them.
The way we understand children influences the way we respond to them.
This is where Huddle Wisdom begins.
The ideas underneath parenting advice
There is no shortage of advice for parents.
The harder part is knowing how to think about a particular child in a particular moment.
A child who avoids something may be overwhelmed.
A child who argues may be struggling.
A child who reacts strongly may be communicating something that is difficult to see.
Good mental models help parents make sense of these situations.
Three principles for parents
Before techniques, there are conditions that influence how children develop and how relationships grow.
The 3 Principles guide brings these ideas together.
It is a simple way of thinking about the foundations that sit underneath parenting decisions.
About Davin
Iām Davin Tan.
Iām a child and forensic psychiatrist, and a parent.
Over the years, I have spent a lot of time with children and families during periods when things have become difficult.
One thing I have noticed is that parents often arrive feeling that they have failed.
They have usually spent a long time trying to help. They have read, reflected, and searched for answers. Yet the situation still does not make sense.
That experience has shaped how I think about parenting.
I have become increasingly interested in the ideas that sit underneath parenting advice. The mental models that help us understand children, relationships, and difficult moments.
Huddle Wisdom is where I share those ideas.
"Huddle Wisdom is a fantastic resource for parents and caregivers looking after children, particularly those displaying emotional or behavioral difficulties. Dr Davin Tan has put together a set of resources which make great sense to anyone seeking to reflect on parenting and childcare practices and the impact on children of various different approaches. The focus of Huddle Wisdom is on providing empathy-driven care, allowing for the recognition and management of anxiety related behavioural problems in particular. This serves to improve the relationship between children and caregivers and is universally applicable from minor struggles to more serious situations. Dr Tan has based his approach on a wide range of experience and research gleaned from a career as a child and adolescent psychiatrist and forensic psychiatrist in both New Zealand and Australia and also incorporates his own knowledge and wisdom from parenting two children. He is an active supporter of teachers and other educators. I can personally attest to the value of the courses provided by Huddle Wisdom, as well as the Huddle Wisdom courses. Dr Tan provides free value to the community through his podcast. I thoroughly recommend Dr Tan's programs to parents and caregivers, particularly those facing challenges with behavioral and emotional issues, however the techniques he describes could be equally useful in an educational environment. For those who are at a loss as to where to begin, and for those with more knowledge and experience, Huddle Wisdom offers a uniquely effective take on helping children to regulate their emotions across a wide variety of situations. "
Dr Caleb Armstrong
Forensic Psychiatrist, Founder and Director of Anteris
"Davin's course, Empathic Guidance for Anxious Sensitive Kids, has been a game changer for my parenting. These days there's so much parenting advice on the internet, but it can be difficult to know what's good advice and what's not. It gets even more confusing when different sources of information contradict each other. Davin's course outlines a solid foundation for parenting. I love his emphasis on nurturing the relationship between parent and child. This caring approach just 'feels right'. The course doesn't teach a bunch of parenting tricks or hacks to get your kids to act the way you want. Instead, it outlines a parenting philosophy that can be adapted to different situations. This has given me heaps more confidence in my parenting. When faced with a parenting challenge, I now approach the situation by asking myself "what would a Huddle Wisdom parent do?" "
Dr Andrew M
General Practitioner
"As a parent of two - one highly sensitive and the other, anxious - I have found Dr Tanās podcasts truely helpful. His content, tips and advice is authentic, informative and teaches you how to think āoutside the boxā with regards to handling the emotional chaos that comes with parenting. The courses offered by Dr Tan via the Huddle Wisdom have also been fantastic at providing those practical steps to put what is learnt into āpracticeā. I have found that pretty much all of the stories and situations discussed really resonates with me and Iām sure so many others out there. Overall, itās been amazing having this content at my very fingertips !"
Phelia T
Digital Marketing Specialist
"I've struggled at times with the kids; trying not to yell for example. And your latest podcast about empathy to build trust and the influence them was really really topical for me and helpful. Just want to say thank you. Just want you to know you are helping lots of people probably without you realising..."
VT
Parent
"Dr Tan is an excellent psychiatrist. He truly listens and and is very personable. His knowledge is remarkable and I have been greatly helped by him."
- AS
"Dr Davin has helped my family beyond words. He listens and his expertise is the best. He has helped us, being me and my two grandsons have the best life possible. He is available, kind, caring and understanding. "
- TH
"Davin Tan is an amazing clinical psychiatrist who I can't recommend enough. He has a great podcast Huddle Wisdom which shares great Insight Into human connection and empathy - definitely worth a listen no matter where you are on your mental health journey"
