The Huddle Wisdom Blog

Knowledge is power, but only wisdom is liberty - Will Durant

Why is parenting getting tougher?

mental parenting May 01, 2023
Parenting feels like it's getting tougher in the modern age.
A few things are going on. This isn't nearly an exhaustive list here nor is this post complete but my observations are:
- we  have grown increasingly comfortable with comfort, thus the energy that parenting demands of us seems greater
- our children are constantly exposed to an endless stream of social media influences and influencers that I don't think are healthy. How do parents compete?
- there is pressure to push children towards independence too soon in my opinion. No wonder they grow more detached from their parents over time and more attached to their is then like the blind leading the blind.
- our appetite for 'more' money, freedom, experiences etc has increased. Our need for quick wins has increased. We want things fast. We have grown intolerant of natural states of boredom.
We need to reset.
Remind ourselves to slow down.
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What our kids need?

Uncategorized Feb 05, 2023

1. Clarity that they are absolutely important

2. They belong to something

3. Meaningful activity

4. Roots

5. Freedom to explore

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Managing emotional storms in 2023 and beyond

Uncategorized Jan 19, 2023

In order to navigate emotional storms well, it's helpful to have a map to help get you through. 

Having a map does not mean you avoid tricky terrain or rough roads but it can alert you of potentially difficult areas so you can prepare. 

There are hundreds if not thousands of programmes available out there in the world which proclaims to help you solve emotional storms. The thing is you can't get rid of them; they are a natural part of our world and nature. Emotional storms are to be expected so you must be prepared. They are not easy to deal with, but deal with them you must. 

If you can deal with them in such a way that you and your loved ones end up being more connected...then you are ahead of the game. Emotional storms tests your resolve. It tests your relationships. And children need to be certain that they can trust you as the adult to handle their emotional storms.

Trust grows and so to your ability to influence the factors that might usually increase the...

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Things go up and down. And will always do that.

Uncategorized Sep 29, 2022

I have been thinking about the idea of 'regression to the mean' a bit recently. It's a statistical term to describe the statistical tendency for 'outliers' or extremes to move toward an average value.


We see this play out in the prices of stocks/equities. Just don't pretend that you can play the game better than the market (unless you're Warren Buffet!)


Things go up, things go down but the duration of each up or down phase is not something we can predict very well. Nor can we predict turnarounds very well. But one thing seems true...we'll see ups and downs over time.


When it comes to depression - I think we can fall into the trap of thinking things are going to be up forever when things are going up...and when things regress to the mean (by going down) we think everything is all downhill...


...but things do change...eventually...we just don't know when.


So while we cannot predict things in the future, we can prepare.


If you know that things...

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Zombies and bayes to survive an apocalypse

mental models Sep 28, 2022

Zombies and Bayes Theorem. What?!

Okay, bear with me. Sometimes, our intuition leads us into perilous situations.

Our brains try to be helpful...but because of mental doesn't always work out so well for us... So...we have to pause...think and rationalise.

Although we cannot predict the outcomes of a bad event.

We can increase the probability of a favourable outcome if we learn how to obtain good reliable data and information so we stand a better chance of avoiding bad outcomes...

it's not guaranteed to help us do that (such is life) but we can improve our odds of survival.



Here's the link to some other good mental models to help you survive!

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Shared values isn't always the best thing

WARNING: Contrarian readers only


Can shared values and ideas harm mature organisations?


One might think it shouldn't it can.


Sometimes the wisdom of crowds is in fact stupid.


The wise crowd is an organism where the constituent parts work and think independently.


In the absence of lose diversity of thought and information.


The chance of staying innovative decreases.


People start to make decisions based on the actions of others in the organisation rather than their own.


So, in times of crisis, large complex systems that has all its parts linked in rigid fashion will fail to adapt.


You'll often observe chain reactions resulting in unfavorable outcomes.


Independent thinkers leave the organisation...which increases homogeneity and with that you have decreasing adaptability


You know how the story ends. You have what we call an information cascade that ends in what I call an avalanche.



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Winning. The game of life.

#mentalmodels Sep 23, 2022

We cannot know with certitude, the outcome of decisions we make.


But we can think ourselves to inaction.


We play with permutations of the same problem and worry about consequences that may or may not come to fruition.


There are few sure things in life. We may feel better if we think in probabilities.


Your situation could stay unchanged if you do nothing but, that may be the right thing to do, if that is what you actively decide.


In the game of roulette; the chance of the house winning more than you over a series of consecutive bets is greater than 50%. This is a static thing. It doesn't change. (if you play and win. stop. if you play and lose. stop...because the house always the long run).


Here's the thing...


Life is not a casino. Probabilities of winning and losing are not fixed.


There are mental models and behavioural habits you can develop which skew the probability of success in your favour, if you play...

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Where there's smoke...there's...đŸ”„

Uncategorized Sep 12, 2022

 Misbehaviour/challenging behaviour is smoke. Follow it down to where it originated. There you will find where the trouble is. 


We spend too much time tending to the smoke. Think of misbehaviour as a signal (like smoke) that there’s a problem somewhere to be solved. 


And by problem I mean a mis-fit between demands/expectations placed on a child, and the child’s ability to deal with those. 


We have to address both things i.e. (1) the demand may need to be adjusted and (2) what skills does the child need to be able to deal with the demand


Remember if kids could do well, they will do well


Children, like everyone else do not deliberately cause trouble for themselves though it sometimes appears that way. It’s part of our role to help our children deal adaptively to problems they face. 

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How do I help my students who talk to me about their mental health?

Uncategorized Sep 10, 2022

This article from 'The Hill', cites a survey indicating the importance of teachers, supporting youth opening up to them about their mental health, more than they would to other adults.

Teachers as well as parents don't always feel confident or equipped...but they have everything they need.

It starts with empathy, compassion and trust. Connection is the universal salve.

'Stop feeling stuck when you are faced with big emotions'

Take the keys...FREE !

1: Download Empathic Connection tool kit

2: Integrate the key ideas into daily practice

3: Connect. Feel less anxiety/stress


Please also, don't forget you don't have to do it alone. 

#empathy #teachers #parenting

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Discipline for kids? Who cares? You should care...

Uncategorized Sep 10, 2022

...because that'll help them WIN in life.


Yes...and it'll help you WIN in life too.


There's a small might have to put in just a tiny bit of effort...not too much though...


Come check out this little course I've got...don't commit just yet though...check out the free stuff I have before you decide to buy the really good stuff...the free stuff is still pretty good imagine what the paid stuff is going to be like! want your kids to win right?


WINNING ! Now!!!!




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Make powerful connections with impact

If your kids won't talk to you, how are you going to help or support them?