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Parenting Anxious Kids with Huddle Wisdom

Helping parents prepare anxious kids for modern times

Setting Screen Time Rules in Your Home for Visiting Children

checklist screentime Apr 22, 2024

In today's digital age, managing screen time for children is a challenge many parents face, especially when hosting kids who are not their own. Here's a guide to help you set screen time rules in your home that respect your values while being mindful of other children's habits.

 

Understanding the Importance of Screen Time Rules

Excessive screen time can lead to various issues in children, such as reduced physical activity, less face-to-face interaction, and potential impacts on psychological well-being¹. It's crucial to establish clear guidelines to ensure that screen time doesn't overshadow other valuable activities.

 

Establishing Clear Guidelines

1. Communicate with Parents: Before the playdate, discuss screen time preferences with the other children's parents to understand their rules and expectations.

2. Set Expectations Early: Let the children know the screen time rules as soon as they arrive, so they're aware of the boundaries.

3. Create a Balanced Schedule:...

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The Power of Adult Connections: Tackling School Anxiety and Refusal

Uncategorized Apr 21, 2024

 School can be hard for many kids. They have to deal with academic pressure, social challenges, and new situations. All of this can cause anxiety. Some kids even refuse to go to school because they are too scared or stressed. As educators and parents, we need to work together to create a supportive environment that helps kids succeed. Let’s see how adult connections make a big difference in this process.

  1. Teachers as Anchors Creating a Safe Haven Teachers are not just teachers; they are anchors for our kids. When teachers make kids feel safe, trusted, and cared for, kids do better. Research shows that kids who feel loved by their teachers learn more. Why? Because when kids feel safe with someone, their brains are ready to learn. Without this feeling of safety, the brain is focused on survival instead of learning.

Moving Beyond Fear-Based Discipline Fear does not help—it hurts. Old-fashioned ways of discipline like suspensions, stand-downs, or public rankings...

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Navigating the Anxiety Wave: A Compassionate Approach to Parenting

Uncategorized Apr 21, 2024

Navigating the Anxiety Wave: A Compassionate Approach to Parenting

In the whirlwind of our modern, hyper-connected lives, we often find our children grappling with anxiety. As parents, educators, and members of society, we may unintentionally contribute to this growing concern. Let’s delve into this issue and discuss how we can shift the tide.

From Self-Growth to External Achievements

Think back to our own childhood. Our aspirations were centered around personal development, learning, and self-enhancement. We strived to evolve into better versions of ourselves. However, over time, the focus shifted. We began to pursue external indicators of success such as wealth, social media validation, accolades, and academic accomplishments. These became our benchmarks, which we inadvertently passed on to our children.

The Ever-Changing Goalposts

Today’s children are navigating a sea of ever-changing expectations. They are expected to excel acadically, engage in numerous...

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Checklists: A Pilot’s Secret Weapon and a Parent’s Best Friend

Have you ever marveled at how pilots manage to fly complex aircraft safely? The secret lies in a deceptively simple tool: checklists!

In the world of aviation, checklists are more than just a mundane list of tasks. They are a critical lifeline that pilots rely on to ensure they don’t miss any crucial steps and that all systems function flawlessly. By following a systematic order, checklists make the process logical and prevent any steps from slipping through the cracks or being incorrectly set. But here’s the exciting part: this methodical approach isn’t exclusive to flying airplanes—it’s a strategy we can seamlessly integrate into our daily lives, especially as parents.

Checklists for Parents: A Low-Cost, High-Reward Solution

Just like pilots, we parents have an intricate and vital job to perform. Our responsibilities range from managing household chores to nurturing our children’s growth and well-being. Amidst the chaos of parenting, we can...

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The Day I Abandoned My Daughter

Uncategorized Apr 05, 2024

I want to share a deeply personal story with you, a story that changed my life forever. As a child and forensic psychiatrist, I always believed I was emotionally stable and calm. But one day, I discovered I had my own demons to face.

Several years ago, I experienced a day that still haunts me - the worst day of my parenting life, perhaps even my entire life. It was a day that shook me to my core and made me realize that I needed to change.

Imagine this: A young child, my child, left distraught, anxious, and crying in a bustling school car park as I drove away in a fit of anger. The image of her tear-streaked face in my rearview mirror, her hand reaching out, pleading ‘daddy please,’ is etched in my memory. I could see other children nearby, wondering who the heartless man in the car was. Yes, that was me.

That morning, I was anxious about an important meeting. My daughter, sensing my anxiety, began showing signs of not wanting to go to school. I was torn between my...

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Navigating the Silent Treatment: A Parent’s Guide

Navigating the Silent Treatment: A Parent’s Guide

Parenting is a journey, one that is filled with unique challenges. One such challenge that we often encounter is dealing with the silent treatment from our children. This can be a frustrating situation, but it’s important to remember that it’s not about us, even if it feels personal. It’s about their emotions—they might be overwhelmed, frustrated, or misunderstood, possibly lacking the words to articulate their feelings.

A Simple Framework

Before we delve into the silent treatment specifically, let’s talk about a simple framework that can guide us in reacting to confounding behaviors in a helpful way. This framework is based on giving our children the benefit of the doubt and asking two questions:

  1. What’s going on in the environment?
  2. What skills does my child need to deal with the environment?

This framework won’t guarantee perfect solutions, but it will keep you in reasonably good...

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Navigating Parenthood: The Art of Dad Jokes and Trust

Uncategorized Mar 17, 2024

 

As parents, we embark on a journey—a rollercoaster ride filled with love, laughter, and the occasional perplexity. Our goal? To forge meaningful connections with our children, to be their guiding stars in this vast universe.

Yet, there are moments when our efforts seem to yield minimal results, leaving us questioning our parenting prowess. We wonder, “Am I doing enough? Am I failing them somehow?” Fear not, my friends. Today, we address the elephant in the room—the legendary dad jokes (or mum jokes, if you prefer). Those quirky, eye-roll-inducing quips that somehow find their way into our conversations like mischievous elves.

The Absurd Magic of Dad Jokes

Let’s debunk a myth right away: Your dad joke repertoire isn’t the culprit behind any perceived communication gaps. In fact, I propose that dad jokes are the pinnacle of absurdist humor—a secret superpower, if you will. Picture this: You’re at the dinner table, and your...

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When to challenge our kids, and when to ease off

Uncategorized Feb 17, 2024

Are you tired of yelling at your kids, bribing them with candy, or threatening them with timeouts? Do you wish there was a better way to parent that doesn’t make you feel like a dictator or a doormat? Well, you’re in luck, because I have the perfect solution for you: empathic discipline!

Empathic discipline is a fancy term for a simple idea: treat your kids like human beings, not like robots or animals. Empathic discipline means that you pay attention to your kids’ feelings and needs, and help them learn how to deal with the world around them. Empathic discipline doesn’t mean that you let your kids do whatever they want, or that you never say no to them. It means that you say no with love, not with anger or fear.

How do you do that, you ask? Well, it’s easy. All you need to do is ask yourself two questions whenever you face a parenting challenge:

  • What are the pressures/demands/expectations in the environment?
  • What are the skills they need to...
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Empathic Discipline: A Transformative Approach to Child-Rearing

Uncategorized Feb 03, 2024

Empathic discipline is an innovative approach to child-rearing that harnesses emotional intelligence and empathy to cultivate cooperation and reduce conflict. Rather than relying on force, it seeks to instill good character by fostering a secure, trusting, and connected relationship with your child.

The Power of Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It involves feeling with someone, not just for them. This connection can transform relationships, reduce tension, and improve behavior. It is also one of the most effective tools for discipline.

Empathic Discipline in Practice

Empathic discipline is about learning how to maintain order, even when everything else feels chaotic. It involves equipping children with the skills, self-discipline, and mental models to regulate their emotions and behavior so they can deal with life's challenges more effectively.

The Role of Connection

Empathy, connection, and compassion are the foundations of our...

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How Empathy Can Help Your Child Overcome School Refusal

school refusal Feb 03, 2024

School refusal is a term that describes a situation where a child feels anxious or fearful about going to school, or avoids attending school altogether. This can negatively impact their academic, social, and emotional development, and cause stress for parents who want their child to succeed. However, parents can help their children overcome school refusal by using empathy.

Understanding School Refusal

Children may refuse to go to school for various reasons. They might be dealing with academic pressures, social anxieties, or personal issues that make the school environment feel overwhelming. Regardless of the reason, school refusal can lead to significant academic setbacks and social isolation if not addressed promptly and effectively.

The Role of Empathy in Overcoming School Refusal

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person, is a powerful tool that parents can use to support their child. By empathizing with their child’s fears and anxieties,...

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