Expert guidance and real-world reflections from a child psychiatrist whoâs also a parent.
So...Itâs a typical Tuesday evening. Youâve just finished preparing dinner, and you call your teen to the table. Instead of the usual chatter, youâre met with a sullen silence. Your teen slumps into their chair, barely acknowledging your presence. You ask about their day, and the response is a curt, âFine.â You try to engage them in conversation, but every attempt is met with eye rolls and monosyllabic answers.
Later, you remind them to finish their homework and tidy up their room. Suddenly, the calm breaks. âWhy do you always nag me? I hate you!â they shout before storming off to their room, slamming the door behind them.
Youâre left standing there, heart aching and mind racing. What just happened? Why does your teen seem to hate you?
If this scenario sounds familiar, youâre not alone. Many parents experience these challenging moments with their teens. But before you take it personally, itâs important to understand whatâs really going on. Letâs explore why your teen
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Whining: Understanding and Managing This Common Challenge
Whining is a behavior that can test the patience of even the most composed parents. From toddlers demanding toys to teenagers negotiating curfews, this persistent issue can strain family dynamics. According to a survey by BabyCenter, 67% of parents find whining to be the most frustrating behavior in their children. Understanding the root causes of whining and implementing effective strategies is crucial for fostering a harmonious home environment.
Reinforcement Through Response Children quickly learn that whining garners attention, even if itâs negative. Research published in the Journal of Applied Behaviour Analysis found that parental attention, regardless of its nature, can reinforce whining behavior in 85% of cases. When parents consistently yield to demands or respond to whining, they inadvertently teach their children that this tactic is effective.
Real-life example: The Smith
...A recent study published in PLOS ONE has attempted to answer the age-old question: "Does humour have a role in parenting?" ... it seems the answer is "yes, but..."
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Most respondents reckon, humour can be an effective parenting tool, with more potential benefits than harm. Many even expressed interest in a course on how to use humour in parenting. *ahem. empathy and timing are key...I wonder where one can learn more about that đ¤Â
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However, before we all rush off to enrol in stand-up comedy classes, we must consider a few limitations of this study. The sample size was relatively small (312 respondents) and predominantly male (63.6%) and white (76.6%). One might suggest that the researchers were studying the "dad joke" phenomenon rather than humour in parenting as a whole.
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Moreover, the study relies heavily on self-reporting and retrospective assessments. Memory can be a fickle friend, especially when it comes to childhood experiences. It's possible that those who had positive r...
Today, after dropping off my children at school, I found myself reflecting on an incident. A young girl had fallen and grazed her knee. As she cried, seemingly more from embarrassment than pain, an adult comforted her, praising her bravery and encouraging her to continue. While the adultâs intentions were undoubtedly good, I pondered how the approach could have been slightly different.
 I firmly believe that as adults, our role is to prepare children for lifeâs journey, not to smooth their path. This concept is beautifully articulated in Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidtâs book âThe Coddling of the American Mindâ. However, itâs essential to recognise that everyone experiences pain. Itâs not about dwelling in discomfort or letting it hinder us, but rather acknowledging our childrenâs feelings when theyâre hurt, then offering reassurance and guidance for what lies ahead.
This brings me to the topic I wish to discuss today: decision-making in the...
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As parents, it can be heartbreaking to see our children struggling with anxietyâespecially when they wonât or canât talk about whatâs going on. We want to help, but we donât always know how to reach them.
The key? Asking the right questions and creating a safe, non-judgmental environment where they feel seen and heard.
In this guide, weâll walk through practical questions to help your child open up about anxietyâand explore how to respond when all you hear is silence or âI donât know.â
When children can talk about their feelings, theyâre more likely to:
Understand and regulate their emotions
Feel less isolated in their struggles
Build emotional resilience
Strengthen trust with the adults who care for them
Your goal isnât to interrogate or âfixâ themâitâs to open a door for connection and help them feel safe enough to step through it.
Start with gentle, open-ended que...
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Anxiety in children often hides in plain sight. It doesnât always show up as obvious distressâinstead, it masks itself as quiet avoidance, perfectionism, tummy aches, or âbad behavior.â And while it may be hidden, its long-term effects can be profound.
Letâs take a closer look at what anxiety does to a childâs mind, body, and developmentâand why early understanding and support can change everything.
The numbers speak volumes. According to the CDC, around 9.4% of children aged 3â17 were diagnosed with anxiety between 2016 and 2019. More recent studies estimate that over 20% of youth worldwide now experience anxiety symptoms. Thatâs 1 in 5 kids.
This isnât just a trendâitâs a growing mental health crisis that deserves urgent, compassionate attention.
Unlike physical ailments, anxiety often goes unnoticed. Many children donât have the language to describe their inner world. Others fear being judged, misunders...
Ok. It's 2 AM, and you're jolted awake by a blood-curdling scream. Your heart races as you dash to your child's room, expecting to find a burglar or perhaps a particularly menacing spider. Instead, you're greeted by your six-year-old, trembling under the covers, insisting there's a scary thing in the wardrobe. Is this normal childhood fear, or should you ring the local child psychologist at this ungodly hour?
 Well, according to a recent survey by the UK's National Health Service, approximately 7% of children aged 5-19 have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. That's roughly two children in every primary school classroom grappling with more than just typical childhood worries.
But how do you distinguish between something that's a normal childhood worry and something more sinister?Â
We'll examine this in parts...
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The Nature of Childhood Fears
Before we start labelling every under-the-bed monster as a sign of impending doom, let's take a moment to appreciate the wonderfully w...
Word up frazzled parents of the world!Â
Letâs talk. Again. About the glorious mess that is parenting. Now, before you roll your eyes and think, "Oh great, another parenting expert telling me how to raise my kids," let me assure you â I'm not here to add to your already towering pile of guilt and self-doubt. No, today we're going to embrace the chaos, laugh at our mistakes, and maybe, just maybe, feel a bit better about this whole parenting lark.
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The Myth of the Perfect Parent
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Let's start with a shocking revelation: perfect parents don't exist. I know, I know, it's hard to believe when your social media feed is full of immaculately dressed children eating organic, hand-crafted lunches while simultaneously learning Mandarin and advanced calculus. But trust me, behind those carefully curated posts is a parent just like you, probably wearing yesterday's clothes and wondering if cereal for dinner counts as a balanced meal. It probably does.
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Remember Ruby Franke? The family vlog...
A recent article in The Lancet highlights the alarming prevalence of multimorbidity among individuals with severe mental illness, underscoring the need for comprehensive care. These are things we already knew but have now been tactfully validated by the good authors of this paper.
But to me⌠hereâs the crux:
Prevention MUST start at home. đ
When children are well-connected with their families, they are less likely to fall into the traps of phone addiction, substance abuse, and youth crime.
Some Key Takeaways from The Lancet Articleđď¸
Kia ora, fellow parents!
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The following is a summary of stuff I talk about on Episode 99 of the Parenting with Huddle Wisdom Podcast. A bit of an accompanying cheat sheet if you will which you can share and print for the main points.
https://www.huddlewisdom.com/podcasts/parenting-with-huddle-wisdomÂ
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Balancing Respect for Individuality and Encouraging Potential
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Respecting our childrenâs individuality while simultaneously encouraging them to reach their full potential is a challenging task. Hereâs how we can approach it effectively:
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Empathy: The Key to Positive Parenting
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Empathy transforms us from mere authority figures into relatable human beings in our childrenâs eyes. It allows us to connect with them, understand their struggles, and validate their feelings. Empathy is about recognizing that a childâs frustration over tying shoelaces is as significant to them as our frustrations with complex tasks. It shows our support, even when we are the source of their f
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