Expert Tips from a Child Psychiatrist
I know why kids are struggling more than ever with anxiety. Is it arrogance to say such things? Maybe... but hear me out.
Punch line first.
It's our modern world—a mix of digital overload, academic pressure, and societal expectations. But there's good news.
Elaboration now.
I think I know the answer. [Insert Hubris Here].
The Shifting Sands of Religion
First, let's talk about the decline of traditional religion. Before you get excited, I'm not saying this is the reason why we're not doing well. This shift isn't inherently good or bad; in my view, the decline is simply a reflection of the times. A function of detachable attachment. What? Stick with me.
With globalisation, scientific advancements, and a cultural move towards individualism, many young people are stepping away from organised religion. I think young people are less sticky these days.
So, where are kids finding their sense of purpose these days? Let's...
Anxiety in children is more common than many of us realise.
According to the CDC, about 9.4% of children aged 3-17 years have been diagnosed with anxiety. That's roughly 5.8 million children in the U.S. alone. Comorbidity: About 37.9% of children with anxiety also have behaviour problems, and 32.3% also have depression
If you're a parent, these numbers might feel overwhelming, but understanding and managing your child's anxiety can make a significant difference.
Here are the steps to one systematic approach that I've 'designed':
ENTER the HEATMAP
Step 1: Track Anxiety Episodes
The first step in managing anxiety is to track it. Creating a log to record anxiety episodes can help you identify patterns and triggers. Here's what to include in your log:
- Date and Time: When did the episode occur?
- Location: Where was your child?
- Who was present: Who else was there?
- Situation/Context: What was happening?
- Intensity: Rate the episode (mild,...
Did you know that anxiety among children has nearly doubled in recent years? According to a meta-analysis, 20.5% of youth worldwide now struggle with anxiety symptoms. That’s 1 in 5 kids! Today, I want to share some practical strategies to help your child understand and articulate their feelings of anxiety, especially if they are hard to engage.
Let’s start with a real-life example. Recently, I took a risk with a 15-year-old gamer who played video games for about 7 hours a day and only spent 2 hours on school work. Instead of confronting him about his school work, I asked, “Why aren’t you playing more video games?” I know, I know how that sounds, but bear with me. This unexpected question disarmed him and opened the door for a more meaningful conversation. Why I did this, I find hard to explain. I took a risk. I don’t recommend that unless you are able to connect with someone and empathise (Will Graham style)
...
Today, after dropping off my children at school, I found myself reflecting on an incident. A young girl had fallen and grazed her knee. As she cried, seemingly more from embarrassment than pain, an adult comforted her, praising her bravery and encouraging her to continue. While the adult’s intentions were undoubtedly good, I pondered how the approach could have been slightly different.
I firmly believe that as adults, our role is to prepare children for life’s journey, not to smooth their path. This concept is beautifully articulated in Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt’s book ‘The Coddling of the American Mind’. However, it’s essential to recognise that everyone experiences pain. It’s not about dwelling in discomfort or letting it hinder us, but rather acknowledging our children’s feelings when they’re hurt, then offering reassurance and guidance for what lies ahead.
This brings me to...
Growing up, I often heard stories about my parents’ journey as immigrants. They faced countless hardships, from language barriers to financial struggles, yet they never gave up. Their unwavering determination and resilience were driven by a single goal: to provide a better future for their children. Even when the chips were down, they persevered, teaching me the invaluable lesson that resilience and perseverance can lead to success. Inspired by their journey, I strive to instill these same values in my own children. One delightful and effective method is through bedtime stories. Here are some wonderful books that can teach children about resilience while making bedtime a cherished ritual.
This charming picture book tells the story of a girl who sets out to create the most magnificent thing but faces numerous challenges along the way. It teaches children about perseverance and the importance of not giving...
A confusing scene:
Evan had spent the entire day working on a wooden box, carefully etching an intricate dragon onto the lid. His mother, seeing the finished product, was amazed. “Evan, this is incredible! I didn’t know you could do that!” she exclaimed with genuine admiration. To her surprise, Evan scowled and shouted, “Shut up! It’s rubbish! I hate you!” He then threw the box across the room, where it shattered against the wall. Huh? What just happened?
Ah, the joys of parenting.
Evan’s reaction illustrates a common trait among perfectionist children: an inability to accept praise and harsh self-criticism. These children often equate their self-worth with their accomplishments, and any perceived imperfection can trigger intense frustration. Some may even avoid completing tasks or trying new things to evade potential failure. No amount of praise will encourage Evan; he must be perfect. Praise only...
As we journey through the world of parenting, we often find ourselves navigating uncharted territories. One such territory is understanding and supporting our anxious children. Anxiety can manifest in many ways and each child experiences it differently. It’s our role as parents to provide a safe, understanding, and nurturing environment for our children to thrive.
In this blog post, we will explore some valuable resources that can guide us in this journey. These books offer a wealth of knowledge from experts in child development, education, and psychology. They provide practical strategies, insights, and a deeper understanding of how to support our anxious children.
From the Montessori approach to positive discipline, these books cover a wide range of topics that are relevant to our experiences as parents. Whether you’re new to parenting or have years of experience, these resources can provide fresh perspectives and effective strategies to help you support your...
Imagine a student who is the epitome of decorum and respect in school, but at home, they transform into a whirlwind of emotions. This scenario is not uncommon for neurodiverse children who often remain unnoticed in educational environments. They are like hidden icebergs, their struggles concealed beneath the surface, invisible to those unfamiliar with their circumstances.
These children often employ a strategy known as ‘masking’, where they exert significant mental energy to conceal their difficulties. Sometimes it’s a conscious effort; other times, it’s an instinctive defense mechanism. Their objective? To blend in, to appear ‘normal’, to avoid being singled out.
Unfortunately, neurodiverse children are more susceptible to mental health issues. So, how can we support them? Let’s delve into some strategies.
Building Bridges of Empathy
The first step is fostering open communication between parents and educators....
Ah, the joys of parenthood!
There you are, blissfully dreaming, when suddenly, you’re jolted awake by a little voice asking about the fate of the planet.
Lynsey G posed a great question: What do you say to kiddos with anxiety over concerns about the environment or similar global-scale problems, at 2 in the morning?
Here’s one approach you could test to handle those midnight queries with empathy, brevity, and a gentle nudge back to bed.
First, let’s validate those feelings. Even in your half-asleep state, it’s important to let your child know that it’s okay to be worried. “I can see you’re really concerned about the environment. It’s okay to feel that way. It shows you care a lot.”
At 2 AM, simplicity is key. You want to soothe and comfort without diving into a full-blown discussion. “There are many people working hard to take care of the Earth. Scientists, activists, and even kids like you are making a difference...