Parenting for Anxious Children: Easy Self-Paced Program that Brings Big Change

The Huddle Wisdom Blog: For Parents of Anxious & Sensitive Kids

Expert guidance and real-world reflections from a child psychiatrist who’s also a parent.

TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR CHILD'S ANXIETY TODAY

You Can’t Fix Your Anxious Child — And That’s Not Your Job

There’s a quiet sort of panic I hear often from parents — especially those raising sensitive, intense, or anxious children.

They’ve tried explaining. Comforting. Distracting. Solving.

And still — the meltdowns, the tension, the fear — they keep coming.

The parent begins to wonder: “Why isn’t this working? Am I doing something wrong?”

Here’s what I often say gently in response:
You’re not doing it wrong.
You’re trying to fix something that doesn’t need fixing.

Let’s be clear — anxiety can be distressing. For your child. For you.
But it’s not a broken part. It’s not something to remove.
It’s something to understand.

▍Anxiety isn’t a flaw to correct

Anxious behaviour is often the surface expression of an overloaded nervous system. Your child might not have the words for what’s happening — so it spills out through avoidance, outbursts, shutdowns, or spirals.

When we respond by rushing to calm them down — even with the best intentions — the message that sometimes lands is:
This emot...

Continue Reading...

🤯 2024 Broke Me... But THIS Unexpected Strategy Saved My Family (and My Sanity!) 🤯

Navigating the Undercurrents: Parenting Through the Turbulence of 2024

2024 was a year that tested me. The relentless bombings from my work life coupled with the ever-present demands of family, often left me feeling adrift in a sea of exhaustion. There were days when the weight of it all threatened to pull me under.

But parenting (or perhaps my children?), it seems, was a life vest that refuses to let go - it just took me a while to figure out that they were more of a life vest than a weight in 2024. Even when my own strength faltered, the needs of my children kept me afloat. And in the struggle to stay above water, I discovered a deeper understanding of resilience – not as a triumphant return to shore, but as a relentless navigation of the undercurrents.

Resilience wasn't about erasing the impact of the storm; it was about charting a new course through the choppy waters. It was about making deliberate choices, even when my inner compass spun wildly.

Intentionality as an Anchor

...
Continue Reading...

The Difference between Risk and Uncertainty: Tightrope Walking

Risk and uncertainty are two different beasts, yet our brains often lump them together. Our minds detest uncertainty.

Perhaps by learning to distinguish between the two, we can take up better control of our anxiety.

Understanding the real risks in any situation and accepting that uncertainty is a part of life is crucial. Step back, evaluate the risk, assign it a value—low or high—and manage it as best you can.

I think this approach helps us handle uncertainty in a more grounded way, keeping anxiety at bay instead of letting it overwhelm us...hopefully. I've worked with this a bit personally and in clinic...it does kinda help a bit.

Imagine the tightrope walker as a child dealing with anxiety—balancing on that rope represents their struggle to manage their fears and uncertainties. The safety net below is like the support system we create for them, ensuring they don’t fall too far if things get tough -sometimes we appraise risk incorrectly and believe we will fall and this will be ...

Continue Reading...

Why Your Kids Are More Anxious Than Ever (And How to Fix It!)

anxiety religion Oct 07, 2024

I know why kids are struggling more than ever with anxiety. Is it arrogance to say such things? Maybe... but hear me out.

 

Punch line first.

 

It's our modern world—a mix of digital overload, academic pressure, and societal expectations. But there's good news.

 

Elaboration now.

 

I think I know the answer. [Insert Hubris Here].

 

The Shifting Sands of Religion

 

First, let's talk about the decline of traditional religion. Before you get excited, I'm not saying this is the reason why we're not doing well. This shift isn't inherently good or bad; in my view, the decline is simply a reflection of the times. A function of detachable attachment. What? Stick with me.

 

With globalisation, scientific advancements, and a cultural move towards individualism, many young people are stepping away from organised religion. I think young people are less sticky these days. 

 

So, where are kids finding their sense of purpose these days? Let's break it down:

 

1. Social and Environm...

Continue Reading...

Helping Hard-to-Engage Kids Talk About Anxiety

anxiety tips Sep 12, 2024

Helping Hard-to-Engage Kids Talk About Anxiety (and Why the Right Question Might Surprise You)

Anxiety among children has nearly doubled in recent years. According to a recent meta-analysis, around 20.5% of youth worldwide now experience anxiety symptoms. That’s roughly 1 in 5 kids.

Many of these children are hard to reach—not because they don’t want help, but because they don’t yet know how to talk about what’s going on inside.

So how do we support kids who shut down, resist, or retreat into silence?

Let me share a story that illustrates what’s possible when we lead with empathy and curiosity—even if it means taking a bit of a risk.

 

The Unexpected Question That Changed Everything

I was working with a 15-year-old who played video games for 7 hours a day and put in just 2 hours of schoolwork. He didn’t want to be there. He said it plainly.

But instead of confronting him about school, I surprised him.
I asked:
👉 “Why aren’t you playing more video games?”

Yes, you read that rig...

Continue Reading...

Navigating Life's Uncertainties: A Reflection

anxiety empathic guidance Aug 26, 2024

Today, after dropping off my children at school, I found myself reflecting on an incident. A young girl had fallen and grazed her knee. As she cried, seemingly more from embarrassment than pain, an adult comforted her, praising her bravery and encouraging her to continue. While the adult’s intentions were undoubtedly good, I pondered how the approach could have been slightly different.

 I firmly believe that as adults, our role is to prepare children for life’s journey, not to smooth their path. This concept is beautifully articulated in Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt’s book ‘The Coddling of the American Mind’. However, it’s essential to recognise that everyone experiences pain. It’s not about dwelling in discomfort or letting it hinder us, but rather acknowledging our children’s feelings when they’re hurt, then offering reassurance and guidance for what lies ahead.

The Coddling of the American Mind

This brings me to the topic I wish to discuss today: decision-making in the...

Continue Reading...

The Hidden Impact of Anxiety in Children—and What We Can Do About It

anxiety prevention Aug 22, 2024

 

Anxiety in children often hides in plain sight. It doesn’t always show up as obvious distress—instead, it masks itself as quiet avoidance, perfectionism, tummy aches, or “bad behavior.” And while it may be hidden, its long-term effects can be profound.

Let’s take a closer look at what anxiety does to a child’s mind, body, and development—and why early understanding and support can change everything.


The Rising Tide of Childhood Anxiety

The numbers speak volumes. According to the CDC, around 9.4% of children aged 3–17 were diagnosed with anxiety between 2016 and 2019. More recent studies estimate that over 20% of youth worldwide now experience anxiety symptoms. That’s 1 in 5 kids.

This isn’t just a trend—it’s a growing mental health crisis that deserves urgent, compassionate attention.


Anxiety Often Hides in Silence

Unlike physical ailments, anxiety often goes unnoticed. Many children don’t have the language to describe their inner world. Others fear being judged, misunders...

Continue Reading...

Building Resilience Through Bedtime Stories

 

Growing up, I often heard stories about my parents’ journey as immigrants. They faced countless hardships, from language barriers to financial struggles, yet they never gave up. Their unwavering determination and resilience were driven by a single goal: to provide a better future for their children. Even when the chips were down, they persevered, teaching me the invaluable lesson that resilience and perseverance can lead to success. Inspired by their journey, I strive to instill these same values in my own children. One delightful and effective method is through bedtime stories. Here are some wonderful books that can teach children about resilience while making bedtime a cherished ritual.

1. “The Most Magnificent Thing” by Ashley Spires

This charming picture book tells the story of a girl who sets out to create the most magnificent thing but faces numerous challenges along the way. It teaches children about perseverance and the importance of not giving up.

Find it on...

Continue Reading...

Understanding and Supporting Anxious, Sensitive, and Perfectionist Children

adler anxiety perfectionism Jul 21, 2024

A confusing scene:

 

Evan had spent the entire day working on a wooden box, carefully etching an intricate dragon onto the lid. His mother, seeing the finished product, was amazed. “Evan, this is incredible! I didn’t know you could do that!” she exclaimed with genuine admiration. To her surprise, Evan scowled and shouted, “Shut up! It’s rubbish! I hate you!” He then threw the box across the room, where it shattered against the wall. Huh? What just happened?

 

Ah, the joys of parenting.

 

What’s Going On?

Evan’s reaction illustrates a common trait among perfectionist children: an inability to accept praise and harsh self-criticism. These children often equate their self-worth with their accomplishments, and any perceived imperfection can trigger intense frustration. Some may even avoid completing tasks or trying new things to evade potential failure. No amount of praise will encourage Evan; he must be perfect. Praise only adds to his belief that people do not understand him. We n...

Continue Reading...

Top Parenting Books for Montessori Parents with Anxious Sensitive Kids

As we journey through the world of parenting, we often find ourselves navigating uncharted territories. One such territory is understanding and supporting our anxious children. Anxiety can manifest in many ways and each child experiences it differently. It’s our role as parents to provide a safe, understanding, and nurturing environment for our children to thrive.

In this blog post, we will explore some valuable resources that can guide us in this journey. These books offer a wealth of knowledge from experts in child development, education, and psychology. They provide practical strategies, insights, and a deeper understanding of how to support our anxious children.

From the Montessori approach to positive discipline, these books cover a wide range of topics that are relevant to our experiences as parents. Whether you’re new to parenting or have years of experience, these resources can provide fresh perspectives and effective strategies to help you support your chil

...
Continue Reading...
1 2
Close

Meaningful Bonds for Lasting Influence

 

Struggling to communicate with your children?

Learn ways to support them even when words fail.

Â