Is Your Kid a Bit Worried? Is it more than Just a Phase? Do you care?

It's not always easy to know what's normal kid-stuff and what's something a little more, like anxiety.

Parents, can be caught in a bind: wanting to fix it, hoping it'll just go away, or simply feeling lost about what to do when we've already got so much to do.

We're all trying to balance work, family, and our own well-being. Throw in hobbies, social lives, and the general chaos of family life, and it's easy for a child's worries to sometimes slip under the radar. Perhaps we allow ourselves to succumb to the allure of complacency. But the problem of course is then that ignoring it won't make it disappear. In fact, it can often make things worse.

 Anxiety manifests in a whole host of ways. Think beyond the obvious nervousness. Are there unexplained aches and pains – recurring tummy aches or headaches? Have you noticed changes in their behaviour – more irritable, withdrawn, or clingy than usual? Are they struggli...

As we step into 2025, many of us are reflecting on how to better support the anxious children in our lives. One concept I find particularly helpful is what I call the "Threat Telescope."

Imagine your child is holding a telescope backwards. Just as this makes distant objects appear smaller, anxiety does the opposite – it magnifies potential threats while shrinking the view of resources, support, and coping abilities. Through this threat telescope:

- A class presentation becomes a guaranteed humiliation

- A playdate morphs into a minefield of social rejection

- A maths test transforms into a measure of their entire worth

- A new situation appears impossibly overwhelming

But here's what's crucial to understand: Each child's threat telescope is uniquely calibrated. Some children might find social situations particularly magnified, while others might zoom in on academic challenges or changes in routine. This is why a one-size-fits-all approach to anxiety support often falls short.

Su...

Risk and uncertainty are two different beasts, yet our brains often lump them together. Our minds detest uncertainty.

Perhaps by learning to distinguish between the two, we can take up better control of our anxiety.

Understanding the real risks in any situation and accepting that uncertainty is a part of life is crucial. Step back, evaluate the risk, assign it a value—low or high—and manage it as best you can.

I think this approach helps us handle uncertainty in a more grounded way, keeping anxiety at bay instead of letting it overwhelm us...hopefully. I've worked with this a bit personally and in clinic...it does kinda help a bit.

Imagine the tightrope walker as a child dealing with anxiety—balancing on that rope represents their struggle to manage their fears and uncertainties. The safety net below is like the support system we create for them, ensuring they don’t fall too far if things get tough -sometimes we appraise risk incorrectly and believe we will fall and this will be ...

As parents, it can be heartbreaking to see our children struggling with anxiety—especially when they won’t or can’t talk about what’s going on. We want to help, but we don’t always know how to reach them.

The key? Asking the right questions and creating a safe, non-judgmental environment where they feel seen and heard.

In this guide, we’ll walk through practical questions to help your child open up about anxiety—and explore how to respond when all you hear is silence or “I don’t know.”

Why Open Conversations About Anxiety Matter

When children can talk about their feelings, they’re more likely to:

• Understand and regulate their emotions

• Feel less isolated in their struggles

• Build emotional resilience

• Strengthen trust with the adults who care for them

Your goal isn’t to interrogate or “fix” them—it’s to open a door for connection and help them feel safe enough to step through it.

Questions That Help Uncover Anxiety

Start with gentle, open-ended que...

Ok. It's 2 AM, and you're jolted awake by a blood-curdling scream. Your heart races as you dash to your child's room, expecting to find a burglar or perhaps a particularly menacing spider. Instead, you're greeted by your six-year-old, trembling under the covers, insisting there's a scary thing in the wardrobe. Is this normal childhood fear, or should you ring the local child psychologist at this ungodly hour?

 Well, according to a recent survey by the UK's National Health Service, approximately 7% of children aged 5-19 have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. That's roughly two children in every primary school classroom grappling with more than just typical childhood worries.

But how do you distinguish between something that's a normal childhood worry and something more sinister? 

We'll examine this in parts...

The Nature of Childhood Fears

Before we start labelling every under-the-bed monster as a sign of impending doom, let's take a moment to appreciate the wonderfully w...