Making Sense of It All: Anxiety, Parenting, and What Actually Helps
Real world reflections from the clinic, the home, and everywhere in between. For parents navigating anxiety and big emotions in their kids.
Understanding and Supporting Anxious, Sensitive, and Perfectionist Children
A confusing scene:
Evan had spent the entire day working on a wooden box, carefully etching an intricate dragon onto the lid. His mother, seeing the finished product, was amazed. “Evan, this is incredible! I didn’t know you could do that!” she exclaimed with genuine admiration. To her surprise, Evan scowled and shouted, “Shut up! It’s rubbish! I hate you!” He then threw the box across the room, where it shattered against the wall. Huh? What just happened?
Ah, the joys of parenting.
What’s Going On?
Evan’s reaction illustrates a common trait among perfectionist children: an inability to accept praise and harsh self-criticism. These children often equate their self-worth with their accomplishments, and any perceived imperfection can trigger intense frustration. Some may even avoid completing tasks or trying new things to evade potential failure. No amount of praise will encourage Evan; he must be perfect. Praise only adds to his belief that people do not understand him. We n...
