When You Have Nothing Left In The Tank And Your Kid Still Needs You
I am tired.
I took a break.
And now I’m back… sort of.
I’m writing because I feel like I should because I don’t want to disappear on you. TBH writing is also therapy for me.
It’s been a horrendous year, professionally.
I can’t go into details for reasons I will reveal when I am able.
But the point of this is not the year I’ve had.
The point is something I’ve been thinking about a lot because of the past few years:
How do you parent when you’ve got nothing left in the tank?
I work with parents all the time, and many of you think you’re failing. You’re not. And honestly, if you weren’t tired, I’d be more worried.
When I get home at the end of the day, I’ve usually got the cognitive power of a damp towel. And that is usually when my kids / family need me the most.
Here is what I’ve learned from my own low-battery parenting:
1. You don’t need to be impressive.
Kids don’t need the polished version of you. They need the “I’m here” version.
2. Say the honest thing.
Try something like, “Mate, I’m cooked, but I’m listening.” Set expectations without pushing them away.
3. Slow yourself down.
Not spiritually. Not philosophically. Just slower. It calms you. It calms them.
4. Don’t rush to fix anything.
Most kids don’t want a fix. They want you. You can fix the thing tomorrow. Or next week. Or never.
It’s fine.
5. Low energy still counts.
If all you can manage is sitting beside them while they talk, that’s enough.
I know many parents reading this have felt judged before.
By professionals. By schools. By family. By society.
Sometimes by me, unintentionally.
So let me be clear: tired parents are not bad parents.
Tired parents are parents who are trying.
So yes, I’m tired.
And you probably are too.
But we can still show up.
Even if it’s the half-strength version of us.
And for most kids, that’s enough. I think.
