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The Huddle Wisdom Blog

Helping parents prepare their sensitive kids for the modern world

Dealing with your child's tantrums

emotional storms tantrums Dec 21, 2023

Do you ever feel powerless in the face of your child's emotional outbursts? Whether it's in a crowded store or a quiet art gallery, it can be tough to know how to manage when a meltdown occurs.

While confidence may not be the right word to describe how you're feeling, it's critical to remember that the way you treat your child in these moments is what matters most to them. Everyone else is secondary.

Navigating these moments successfully depends on your ability to understand the underlying reasons or factors that led up to the outburst. Even if you don't fully understand them, taking a step back to acknowledge that there are underlying reasons is vital.

I've developed an effective approach to help you navigate these storms. Check out my free on-demand video training at www.huddlewisdom.com/gettools

In episode 086 of the Parenting with Huddle Wisdom podcast, I dive into several important themes that can help you tailor your approach to your child's specific needs. These themes...

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Why is parenting getting tougher?

mental parenting May 01, 2023
 
 

The Challenges of Modern Parenting
Parenting in today's world is becoming increasingly difficult, with several factors contributing to this phenomenon. Here are some of my observations:

  • We have grown accustomed to comfort, which has made the energy required for parenting seem more demanding.
  • Our children are constantly exposed to social media and its influencers, which can be unhealthy. How can parents keep up?
  • Children are pushed towards independence too soon, leading to detachment from their parents and closer connections to their peers.
  • Our desire for more money, freedom, and experiences has increased. We crave quick results and are intolerant of boredom.

To address these issues, we need to take a step back and reset. We must slow down and embrace discomfort. Reconnecting with each other and revisiting the basics is essential.

 Tune in to the Parenting with Huddle Wisdom Podcast to learn more
 
 
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Misbehaviour and root causes. Where there's smoke...there's...🔥

Uncategorized Sep 12, 2022

Understanding Misbehavior: Identifying the Root Cause

When dealing with misbehavior in children, it's important to remember that it's just a symptom of a deeper issue. Instead of focusing solely on the behavior, it's essential to trace it back to its root. In doing so, we can understand the problem and tackle it head-on.

Rather than seeing misbehavior as a problem in itself, think of it as a signal, like smoke, that something is wrong. There may be a misfit between the demands placed on the child and their ability to meet those demands. As parents or educators, our job is to address both the demand and provide the necessary skills to help the child deal with it.

It's important to remember that children, like everyone else, do not intentionally cause trouble for themselves. Therefore, we must step in and provide support to help them overcome the problems they face. Keep in mind that if children could do well, they would do well.

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Stop feeling guilty about setting boundaries with your children!

mental models parenting Aug 31, 2022

 

 Empathy as a Parenting Tool: The Importance of Setting Boundaries

Empathy is a crucial tool in connecting with our children, but it is not synonymous with yielding to their every demand. As adults, it is our responsibility to demonstrate that boundaries must be respected in life, whether these are legal boundaries or simply a person's private space. Although it is natural to feel guilty when a child pushes back against boundaries we set, it is important to avoid caving in, as this is not in anyone's best interest.

Our upbringing can play a significant role in where we draw the line when it comes to rules and boundaries, so it is essential to reflect on our own experiences. Similarly, our children's struggles to come to terms with boundaries are expected and should be anticipated. We need to be prepared for pushback and provide a clear rationale if questioned about certain rules, but we should also not be surprised if our kids whine or complain. Expecting some degree...

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Managing Life's Ups and Downs : A Therapist's Perspective

 

During a recent session with one of my patients (he's 8), our conversation took an unexpected turn. We delved into how they, like many others, struggle with mood and anxiety in their daily lives. Sometimes, it can feel like everything is out of our control, and that life is just a series of ups and downs. But it's important to remember that we have the power to control our thoughts and perceptions.

While we can't change the reality of what happens in our lives, we can change how we interpret and respond to it. It's easy to get caught up in our emotions, but by slowing down our thought processes, we can better understand and manage our feelings. This can lead to a greater sense of control and peace of mind.

So let's take a step back and remember – even if it's just for a moment – that life's challenges are like poos and wees; they may not always be pleasant, but we can learn to cope and move forward.

 Watch these videos here if you want to learn how to...

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Courage and Compassion: A Powerful Combination

compassion mental models Aug 10, 2022

 As Dave Chappelle aptly points out, we live in a time of spin and manipulation. This often makes us wary of those who don't share our views or opinions. In some cases, we might even view people who are overly kind or sympathetic as naive or foolish. But it's precisely this courage to believe in the innate goodness of others that makes us extraordinary.

Imagine a world where we looked at each other with empathy and compassion. Dare to think differently, to feel differently. It could be a truly transformative experience. So let's take a deep breath and summon the courage to be compassionate, even when it's not the easiest path to take.

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Teaching Empathy to Children: A brief Guide

empathy mental models Jul 15, 2022

 Teaching Empathy to Children: A  brief Guide

Empathy plays a vital role in creating genuine human connections. Not only does it help us become more impactful in the world, but it also facilitates trust, which is critical for winning hearts and minds.

Empathy is a multidimensional concept with numerous attributes that contribute to its effectiveness. While we are still learning about how to express empathy, we are also discovering how to systematize and foster skills that can improve our empathetic capacity.

A child's empathic skill development is influenced by a wide range of experiences, including the way caregivers relate, communicate, and convey their mental models of the world to them. Cultural and social media influences also play a significant role in shaping young minds.

As a parent or teacher, you have a crucial role to play in the development of empathy in children. Raising a child in the digital age is not for the complacent. While you cannot predict what...

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Understanding Accurate Empathy: The Three Components

empathy Jun 16, 2022
 Understanding Accurate Empathy: The Three Components

At its core, empathy requires an understanding of three essential components. These components are: cognition (thoughts), affect (emotion), and perception (feelings).

Perception, for instance, is the ability to sense things through our senses. Although intangible, it is real. The wind, for example, can be felt but not seen. Similarly, when we feel an unexplainable connection to someone, it's like the invisible pull of a magnetic force.

However, empathy is not just about perception. Overemphasizing this component can lead to inaccurate empathizing due to neglecting the other components. Therefore, all three components need to be considered for optimal balance and impactful empathizing.

By training yourself to be sensitive to the relative "weight" of each component in any given moment, your empathic skills will improve significantly. This understanding can help to decrease the likelihood of invalidating someone and...

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Teaching Resilience in Children: A Guide for Parents

mental models resilience Jun 08, 2022

Teaching Resilience in Children: A Guide for Parents

As parents and educators, we all want our children to develop resilience and perseverance in the face of hardship. But which challenges should we encourage them to tackle? This is a subjective matter. Some kids are willing to go through the pain of overcoming obstacles to accomplish things that matter to them, while for others, it may seem like a waste of time and energy.

Before we can determine what matters to us and our children, we need to have a clear understanding of our values. This way, we can focus our energy and resources on the things that truly matter and avoid persevering with things that don't.

I believe that resilience is not a character trait but rather a choice. While some children may appear to be resilient because they don't show distress, this is not always the case. It's important to remember that resilience depends on various factors such as personal drives, interests, motivations, and context.

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Getting through tough parenting seasons

Winters can be rough (or any season for that matter depending on your circumstances) in our lives and it can really feel like it's never-ending.

I think though that this could be our opportunity to take stock, rest and store energy we need for new growth. To plan what seeds we want to sow when the time come perhaps. 

It can be extremely hard when or if a cold bitter season arrives. I definitely struggle to remain hopeful and to be still especially when it feels like there are cold harsh winds of various demands and pressures bearing down - and all we're trying to do is to stand still!

But when I find moments of stillness, I do my best to capitalise on those moments and spend energy really meditating on the ordinary things - what else can I really do in the midst of overwhelm? I can't think too far ahead because that might just heap anxiety onto what I'm already feeling, I don't want to think about the past too much lest it fills me with whatever unhelpful stifling...

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