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The Huddle Wisdom Blog

Helping parents prepare their sensitive kids for the modern world

When to challenge our kids, and when to ease off

Uncategorized Feb 17, 2024

Are you tired of yelling at your kids, bribing them with candy, or threatening them with timeouts? Do you wish there was a better way to parent that doesn’t make you feel like a dictator or a doormat? Well, you’re in luck, because I have the perfect solution for you: empathic discipline!

Empathic discipline is a fancy term for a simple idea: treat your kids like human beings, not like robots or animals. Empathic discipline means that you pay attention to your kids’ feelings and needs, and help them learn how to deal with the world around them. Empathic discipline doesn’t mean that you let your kids do whatever they want, or that you never say no to them. It means that you say no with love, not with anger or fear.

How do you do that, you ask? Well, it’s easy. All you need to do is ask yourself two questions whenever you face a parenting challenge:

  • What are the pressures/demands/expectations in the environment?
  • What are the skills they need to...
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Empathic Discipline: A Transformative Approach to Child-Rearing

Uncategorized Feb 03, 2024

Empathic discipline is an innovative approach to child-rearing that harnesses emotional intelligence and empathy to cultivate cooperation and reduce conflict. Rather than relying on force, it seeks to instill good character by fostering a secure, trusting, and connected relationship with your child.

The Power of Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It involves feeling with someone, not just for them. This connection can transform relationships, reduce tension, and improve behavior. It is also one of the most effective tools for discipline.

Empathic Discipline in Practice

Empathic discipline is about learning how to maintain order, even when everything else feels chaotic. It involves equipping children with the skills, self-discipline, and mental models to regulate their emotions and behavior so they can deal with life's challenges more effectively.

The Role of Connection

Empathy, connection, and compassion are the foundations of our...

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How Empathy Can Help Your Child Overcome School Refusal

school refusal Feb 03, 2024

School refusal is a term that describes a situation where a child feels anxious or fearful about going to school, or avoids attending school altogether. This can negatively impact their academic, social, and emotional development, and cause stress for parents who want their child to succeed. However, parents can help their children overcome school refusal by using empathy.

Understanding School Refusal

Children may refuse to go to school for various reasons. They might be dealing with academic pressures, social anxieties, or personal issues that make the school environment feel overwhelming. Regardless of the reason, school refusal can lead to significant academic setbacks and social isolation if not addressed promptly and effectively.

The Role of Empathy in Overcoming School Refusal

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person, is a powerful tool that parents can use to support their child. By empathizing with their child’s fears and anxieties,...

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Why Do Kids Say “I Hate You” and How to Respond with Humor

Uncategorized Feb 03, 2024

 As a parent, it's possible that you've heard your child say "I hate you" at some point. Although it can be a hurtful and unexpected experience, there are ways to deal with this situation with humor and empathy.

Why Kids Say "I Hate You"

Children usually say "I hate you" when they are experiencing intense emotions that they don't know how to express. They may be feeling angry, frustrated, disappointed, scared or sad, and they may not have the words or the skills to communicate those feelings. They may also say it to test boundaries, seek attention or manipulate outcomes. Kids may project their own negative feelings onto you, or blame you for something they did wrong.

How to Respond with Humor and Empathy

When your child says "I hate you," it's important to respond with humor and empathy. Humor can help diffuse the tension, ease the mood, and show your child that you don't take their words personally. Empathy can help you understand your child's feelings, acknowledge...

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Empathising with Sibling Rivalry: Tips for Effective Discipline

Uncategorized Feb 03, 2024
 

Sibling rivalry has been around since the dawn of time, and although siblings may love each other (sometimes one doubts it though!), they often find themselves bickering and fighting. As a parent or guardian, it can be exhausting to manage these conflicts. But don't worry, as someone who has survived the trials of siblinghood, I have some empathetic discipline tips that can help.

It's important to note that every child is unique, each with their own personality and way of dealing with conflict. So, instead of a one-size-fits-all solution, tailor your discipline to fit each child's needs.

It's also essential to remember that fighting is often a symptom of underlying issues. Try to identify the root cause by having a conversation with your children. They might be feeling neglected or jealous of each other, or they could be struggling with their own personal issues. Addressing these underlying issues can go a long way in preventing future fights.

Lastly, lead by example....

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  Tips for Managing Your Emotions When Your Child Has a Meltdown

Uncategorized Jan 23, 2024
 
 

As a parent, you know how overwhelming it can be to manage your child's meltdowns. Although it's tough on your child, it can be even worse for you, especially if it happens frequently. You may experience a range of emotions - anger, sadness, helplessness - and you might feel physically and mentally drained. You may even question your parenting skills.

While you naturally want to help your child deal with their meltdowns, it's equally important to take care of yourself so that you can respond in a calmer way.

Here are some tips to help you manage your emotions when your child has a meltdown:

  • Recognize Your Emotions: Take a moment to identify your emotions and determine why you feel that way. Are you feeling angry, sad, scared, or frustrated? What caused your reaction? (What about the meltdown is making you feel this way?) How are your thoughts, behaviors, and body being affected by your emotions?
  • Express Your Emotions: Find a healthy and appropriate way to...
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What to do when your kid starts hanging out with the wrong crowd?

There's a sense of helplessness when our kids start hanging out with the 'wrong crowd', so to speak. 

 

We get anxious when our innocent sensitive kid gravitates to others who don't have their back. It's painful when your kid disagrees with your assessment.

 

So what's a parent to do? You can't exactly lock them away in a tower for 40 years (tempting). Forcing them to stop hanging out with said scoundrels is probably going to backfire! 

 

You are going to have to play the long game. You'll have to be subtle. A bit sneaky. Strategic. You're going to Trojan Horse the sh** out of this situation (I like to call it a sh*tuation. It presents an opportunity for your relationship to grow stronger over time).

 

The goal is to have the sort of connection with our kids that is predicated upon trust and security. Now. I do not mean trust that they are not going to do something stupid. And I don't mean security like Liam Neeson style parenting (we don't want to use...

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Dealing with teenage rebellion: a brief guide for parents

rebellion teenagers Jan 19, 2024

Teenage rebellion is a common and normal thing that many parents have to face. Teen's rebel for different reasons. And remember their brains have not fully matured, so don't be surprised if you have to face some irrationality with your teen. Perhaps husband's like me have the same problem - i wonder if my brain is fully matured or not.

Rebellion is a way for teens to assert their independence, explore their identity, and test their limits. This is all normal but man, it can be a pain in the arse.

How can parents deal with teenage rebellion effectively and maintain a healthy relationship with their children?

Some tips:

  • Understand the reasons behind the rebellion. Teenage rebellion is not a personal attack on you or a sign of disrespect - though it can feel like that! It is a natural and necessary part of adolescent development. Teens rebel because they want to separate themselves from their parents and establish their own identity - you might not be so cool anymore, Inspite of your...
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Navigating the Digital Age with Empathy: A Guide for Parents

 

The digital age has brought us many wonders, but it has also brought a host of dangers, especially for our children. As parents, we must be the guiding light that illuminates their path. With so many things vying for their attention, how can we connect with them? The key to this is empathy.

Empathy is vital because it fosters trust, which is the foundation of human connection. While much has been said about the cognitive and affective components of empathy, it's important to note the richness of the perceptual aspects of empathy.

To cultivate this often neglected but powerful aspect of empathic connection, we must first understand how to empathize with our children. By doing so, we can create a deeper understanding of their perspectives and feelings. As parents, we can then use this knowledge to provide better guidance and support.

Let me show you how you can start to cultivate this crucial aspect of empathic connection with your children.


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How do I parent my emotionally sensitive child? [A brief guide]

Children who experience intense emotions can be incredibly imaginative, empathetic, and intuitive. They may have heightened awareness of their surroundings but struggle with filtering information. This rich inner life can be both a gift and a challenge for them, especially as their brains are still developing. Big emotions can lead to big behaviors, which can confuse both the child and their parents.

Identifying Traits of Sensitive Children:
  • May experience heightened stress, anxiety and feelings of being overwhelmed.
  • May struggle to cope with change, challenges, and criticism.
  • May have frequent and intense emotional outbursts and difficulty regulating emotions and impulses.
  • May feel isolated, misunderstood, or rejected by peers and have low self-esteem or confidence.

Our emotionally sensitive children need more guidance and support to help them manage their emotions and develop their God given strengths. Obviously this means parents may need to be a lot more patient than they...

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