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The Huddle Wisdom Blog

Helping parents prepare their sensitive kids for the modern world

Tips for Dealing with Picky Eaters

 

In most cases, fussy eating is a part of growing up. It's an expression of independent thinking and a need for mastery and control over one's environment, body and choices. But, I don't hear parents celebrating! Fussy eating can be exasperating.

But let's take a step back and think a little bit about what we would be doing if we were presented with limited food options that didn't appeal to us. Have you ever travelled some place where the food wasn't really stuff you'd eat? How did the locals treat you? Did they force feed you? If they did, I'm sure you wouldn't visit right? (1 star review!!!) We might be curious about the strange new foods there but we'd prefer to try them at our own speed. 

Here are some tips to help you adjust your 'speed' and help your kids try the 'local' cuisine in your household. 

The first thing is to keep your cool around meal times to minimise stress for your child (I know you will be stressed enough for the both of you); otherwise, Kids will...

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What does an emotional storm look like?

 

 Understanding Emotional Storms with the Help of a Pictogram

Visualizing the various stages of an emotional storm can be very beneficial. By using a pictogram, you can identify the antecedents that fuel the storm, as well as the factors that dissipate its power. This approach can help you develop a deeper understanding of how emotional storms operate, so you can better navigate them in your life.

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 Helping Children Navigate Emotional Storms

emotional storms Mar 27, 2022
 

Emotions can be like a storm; once they start, they can be challenging to stop. Just as with a natural storm, the best solution is to prepare and wait for it to pass. However, when children experience an emotional storm, we must do more than wait. Understanding the antecedents of the storm is crucial for reducing its frequency and intensity.

Children are not miniature adults and cannot be expected to act, behave, or think like grown-ups. Although adults and children experience similar emotions, adults may have more experience in navigating their emotional lives. Therefore, we must teach children how to handle their emotions effectively.

Forensic Analysis and Detective Work

To help children manage their emotions, we must teach them forensic analysis and detective work. We need to survey the damage done and elicit the child's perspective without interfering or putting words in their mouth. Once we've gathered clues, we can present hypotheses to the child, work together to...

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Dealing with imposter syndrome

Uncategorized Mar 26, 2022

I talked about this in episode 001 of the Huddle Wisdom podcast and expand on some key ideas here.  

 

  • Perfection is the enemy of the good. There is no such thing as perfection thus we will always fall short. It's like grasping at clouds. Rather, we are better off focusing on our personal growth - that is being further along the road than where we were yesterday is a solid achievement. And when we have done well, we need to learn how to give ourselves a pat on the back. 'The Tall Poppy Syndrome' is ever real in our culture, and it is toxic. 

 

  • Comparing ourselves to someone else's progress is fallacious. Yes, seeing how well our counterparts are doing may fill us with envy and motivate us to do better (whatever that means!), and it may even inspire us, invigorate us but it can also make use feel inadequate, understandably. It's fine to look, but don't touch it! But let's not make the mistake of using another person's achievements / goals or anything else...
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Tips for Dealing with Backchatting Children

parenting Mar 26, 2022

 

 

If you're struggling with a child who seems to be backchatting you, it's important to remember that this behaviour is neither good nor bad – it's simply their way of communicating that they're struggling with the demands of the environment. Try not to take it personally; it's difficult not to be offended by the know-it-all attitude of a child, but it's important to remain calm and rational.

Here are some tips to help you deal with backchatting:

  1. Be the adult. Take a deep breath and avoid getting caught up in the argument. Nothing gets solved by escalating the situation.
  2. Set the tone in your household by establishing rules of engagement. Praise your children when they follow these rules, as this will reinforce the behaviour you want to see. It's better to acknowledge good behaviour than to scold bad behaviour.

Listen to Episode 008 on the Huddle Wisdom Podcast for a little more...Dealing with Backchatting.

If you want to get a better handle of empathic...

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Managing Emotions in the Heat of the Moment: Using the H.A.L.T Acronym

parenting Mar 26, 2022

 

As grown-ups, it's often challenging to manage the intense emotions our children stir within us. It's tempting to react impulsively, but it's crucial to keep our calm and avoid regrettable behavior.

The H.A.L.T acronym is a simple yet effective tool to regulate our emotions.

H is for Hunger – Most of us function poorly when we're famished, and our kids are no different. Providing them with nutritious snacks and meals throughout the day can help keep them satiated and focused.

A is for Angry – It's essential to acknowledge and validate our children's emotions, but it's equally crucial to choose our moments wisely. Waiting for the flames to subside before disciplining or teaching is more effective than reacting impulsively.

L is for Lonely or Lost – Sometimes, our children feel disconnected, and it's our job to bridge that gap. Reconnecting with them through play, conversation, and shared meals can help them feel more secure and settled.

T is for...

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Embracing Life's Twists and Turns: A Fresh Perspective

Parenting with Huddle Wisdom
Embracing Life's Twists and Turns: A Fresh Perspective
15:01
 
 
 
 

Life doesn't follow a straight path, and I'm sure many of you can relate. When we evaluate our progress, it's beneficial to take a wider view of things. If we don't, we may see things linearly, and any setback or regression may be viewed as a failure or step backward. This often leaves us feeling discouraged. However, growth is never a straight line; it's more like a wiggly trendline. Unfortunately, we tend to focus on the dips more than the peaks because our brains are wired to perceive threats and pay attention to them. A regression, for example, may be seen as a threat to our ego, which is why we pay closer attention to it.

The next time you feel disheartened about your progress, take a moment to look back and reflect on how far you have come. Remember, life is full of twists and turns, and there will always be ups and downs. To avoid selective bias in our thinking, try zooming out and taking a bird's eye view of your progress. It can provide a...

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Balancing Our Impulses: The Lizard Brain vs. The Wizard Brain

 

At times, we let our impulses take over in the heat of the moment, when our lizard brains become too dominant. It's not entirely our fault, as our limbic systems are designed to engage when we perceive a threat or danger in our surroundings.

Yet, there are moments when we require the guidance of a wizard to keep our lizard brain in check. We need someone to evaluate the situation with greater finesse so we don't make hasty decisions that we may later regret.

Undoubtedly, our lizard brain is vital in steering us away from danger or helping us to address it if it arises. However, we may overly rely on our lizard brain when making decisions about the future and overestimate potential threats. That's when our wizard brain is more advantageous.

The truth is, we need both the lizard and wizard to function optimally. Yet, it's advisable that the wizard ride the lizard, rather than the other way around.

Tune in to Episode 7 of the Huddle Wisdom Podcast where I talk about this a...

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Apologising does not mean defeat

Uncategorized Mar 16, 2022
As a physician, my job is to provide advice to patients, but I have to admit that I don't always follow my own advice. It's not that I don't believe in it, but I'm just not good at applying it to my own life.

One of the questions that has been on my mind is, do we apologize enough? Personally, I don't think I say sorry as much as I should. Taking responsibility for our actions, whether good or bad, can be difficult. It means acknowledging our mistakes and the harm they may have caused, whether intentional or not. But apologizing is a crucial step towards healing and growth. It's not about justifying our actions, but rather about acknowledging them.

Forgiveness is also an important part of this process. It's easy to hold onto past hurts and resentments, but in the end, it only weighs us down. Letting go of things we can't control can be liberating. It's a chance to move forward with a lighter heart and a newfound sense of purpose.

With our children, we don't lose our credibility...

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How do I stop feeling like a victim in my parenting?

mental models Mar 14, 2022

Not sure about you, but I am fairly confident that we all face challenges and difficulties in raising our children. Perhaps some of you might feel like you suffer more than the rest of us!

It is perfectly natural to feel overwhelmed, frustrated, or helpless. Modern life is full of pressures, demands and expectations bearing down on us in every direction. There's no let up!

Then, on top of that we can at times feel life is unfair, that our kids are ungrateful, or that we have no control over our circumstances. We may start to play the victim and blame others or the world for our problems and feel sorry for ourselves. 

It's normal to indulge ourselves at times. Playing the victim may seem like a way to cope with stress and pain, but it does us more harm than good. It stops us from taking responsibility for our actions and choices, and from making positive changes in our lives. It affects the quality of our relationships with our children, who may learn to adopt the same...

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