Unmasking the Icebergs: Supporting Anxious and Neurodivergent Children

Imagine a child who is reserved and respectful in school, but at home, they become a storm of emotions. This scenario is typical for both anxious and neurodivergent children who often go unnoticed in educational settings. They are like submerged icebergs, with their challenges hidden beneath the surface, unseen by those unfamiliar with their condition.

These children frequently employ a technique known as ‘masking’, where they exert a significant amount of mental effort to conceal their difficulties. Sometimes it’s a deliberate attempt; other times, it’s an automatic defence mechanism. Their goal? To fit in, to appear ‘ordinary’, to prevent themselves from being singled out.

Regrettably, both anxious and neurodivergent children are more susceptible to mental health problems. So, how can we assist them? Let’s delve into some strategies.

Creating Pathways of Empathy

First and foremost, we need to foster transparent communication between parents and educators. Parents should feel comfortable discussing their child’s difficulties, confident that they will be listened to and understood. Predictability, structure, and routine are crucial, as these children often struggle with uncertainty or vagueness. This proactive approach can help alleviate some of their anxiety.

Children require a roadmap for their day. With numerous transition points necessitating cognitive shifts and various demands - sensory, social, organisational, academic - throughout the day, we can help mitigate these pressures both before and during the school day.

Tangible Strategies for Assistance

• Visual Map / Timetable Review Prior to the School Day: Prepare for the day ahead by packing things the night before. Rushing these children can result in a chaotic morning, so save time by planning ahead.
• Clarify the Routine of the Day: Set expectations for what they can do independently if they need a break. For instance, they could have a quiet reading corner to retreat to when things get overwhelming.
• Regular Check-ins with an Adult: Regular check-ins can help identify potential stressors. Prevention is better than dealing with a conflict in the heat of the moment. For example, if a child is anxious about an upcoming group activity, discussing it beforehand can help alleviate their worries.
• Physical Structure and Colour Coding: Visual cues can help prepare kids for upcoming stages and reduce their concern about what to do next. For example, different coloured folders for different subjects can help them stay organised.
• Delineate Areas Clearly: Separate calm sensory zones from work areas. For instance, a cosy corner with soft cushions can serve as a sensory zone, distinct from the desk used for academic work.
• Reduce Clutter: Encourage everyone to keep their work areas clutter-free. A clean, organised space can help reduce sensory overload.
• Have Whole Class Breaks: Regular breaks can help all students recharge and refocus. This could be a short stretching session or a quick game.
• Have Work Sheets as Uniform as Possible: Consistency is key. Avoid changing the format of worksheets without warning, as this can cause unnecessary stress.
• Try Doing a Sensory Audit with the Kid: Involve the child in assessing how they experience the space. This could involve discussing the classroom’s lighting, noise levels, or seating arrangements.
• Creative Support: Some kids may need creative ways to express their need for help. This could be a special card they hand to the teacher when they’re feeling overwhelmed.
• Transitions at End of Day: Allow both anxious and neurodivergent kids more time to pack by letting them start a little earlier. Important instructions should be given in a calm, clear manner, not shouted over a noisy classroom.
• For Homework, Down Time Might Be Needed: Establish a routine for homework that includes downtime. This could be a few minutes of relaxation exercises before starting homework.
• Both Anxious and Neurodivergent Kids Can Have Similar Interests to Neurotypical Kids: They may find themselves on the outside of big groups. It’s important they receive support and guidance from teachers or aides. Use their small number of friendships for structured school work, rather than trying to get them to participate in larger groups.
• Note Asking Kids to Find a Partner Can Be Really Stressful for Them: They may need support in these situations, so be mindful of this.
• Support Them to Develop Their Toolbox of Strategies and Skills: This could include teaching them relaxation techniques or problem-solving skills.
• Remember Small Changes Can Have Outsized Effects: Even a small change, like allowing a child to use headphones to block out noise, can have a significant impact on their comfort and productivity.
• Listen to Parents, Seek Their Advice on What Strategies Work at Home, Co-work is Key: Parents can provide valuable insights into what strategies work best for their child.

Supporting both anxious and neurodivergent children is a journey, not a destination. It requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to adapt. But the rewards - seeing these children thrive and succeed - are well worth the effort. Remember, every child is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. The key is to keep trying, keep learning, and keep believing in their potential. Because every child deserves the chance to shine.

Afterword

In this article, we have explored the challenges faced by both anxious and neurodivergent children and the strategies that can assist them. We have also highlighted the alignment of these strategies with the course offered at Huddle Wisdom, which focuses on helping parents navigate anxiety with their kids.

The course at Huddle Wisdom could serve as an excellent resource for parents and educators seeking to connect better with both anxious and neurodivergent children. It could provide further insights into effectively implementing the strategies mentioned in the article, such as encouraging transparent communication, creating predictable routines, and providing tangible assistance. Moreover, it could delve deeper into the importance of empathy, understanding, and patience when dealing with both anxious and neurodivergent children.

Furthermore, the course could offer additional resources and support for parents and educators, helping them feel less alone and more connected in their journey of supporting both anxious and neurodivergent children.

In conclusion, the article and the course complement each other well. The article provides a solid foundation of understanding and practical strategies, while the course could offer further guidance, support, and community for those seeking to connect better with both anxious and neurodivergent children. Together, they provide a comprehensive toolkit for anyone looking to support and uplift both anxious and neurodivergent children.

The journey of supporting both anxious and neurodivergent children is a continuous one, requiring patience, understanding, and a willingness to adapt. But the rewards - seeing these children thrive and succeed - are well worth the effort. Remember, every child is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. The key is to keep trying, keep learning, and keep believing in their potential. 

www.huddlewisdom.com/foundationsofconnection