Emotions can be like a storm; once they start, they can be challenging to stop. Just as with a natural storm, the best solution is to prepare and wait for it to pass. However, when children experience an emotional storm, we must do more than wait. Understanding the antecedents of the storm is crucial for reducing its frequency and intensity.
Children are not miniature adults and cannot be expected to act, behave, or think like grown-ups. Although adults and children experience similar emotions, adults may have more experience in navigating their emotional lives. Therefore, we must teach children how to handle their emotions effectively.
Forensic Analysis and Detective Work
To help children manage their emotions, we must teach them forensic analysis and detective work. We need to survey the damage done and elicit the child's perspective without interfering or putting words in their mouth. Once we've gathered clues, we can present hypotheses to the child, work together to identify the ones that make sense, and figure out solutions to problems.
The STEP Protocol
The STEP protocol is a useful structure to use when solving problems. The protocol involves saying what the problem is, thinking of feasible solutions, executing the solution that makes the most sense, and planning/pruning the plan. If the solution fails, we can review the problem, refine our approach, and try again.
Take a Break
If you run out of energy, take a break and come back to the problem later. There's no shame in that. It's better to come back fresh than tired.
Calm Within Ourselves
In the next post, we'll talk about what we can do when we're in the middle of the storm. Finding calm within ourselves is a hint. Until then, check out the FREE Toolkit for Emotional Storms and get some Toolkit action.
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