What can you do about sibling jealousy?
The thing is, jealousy is normal and expected among siblings but mismanaging this can inadvertently pave the way to rifts and ruptured relationships. So we cant just ignore it when you suspect that's happening for your kids.
The sort of jealousy that is very important for us to be mindful of is the sort that stems from a fear of losing connection with a parent. Kids can exhibit all sorts of behaviour in protest, ranging from mild and subtle to loud and very very obvious. But the treatment is the same...it is connection. There's that word again. Connection undergirds all of our interpersonal interactions and it is empathy that glues us together. Quality and quantity time is what our kids need; this sounds like it is stating the obvious. That's because it is obvious. But it's important to state because kids deserve all the attention and connection we can spare them.
Some kids are going to be more needy than others. That's just a fact that we're going to have to accept; and so it's not realistic to distribute ourselves evenly between our kids. Inevitably some kids will get more time and some kids less time. But if we maintain our connections with all of them, this minimises the anxiety that they will have about weakening ties.
Try to have traditions and rituals that you do that's unique for each child in your household. Something that is special to just you and them. Schedule time and protect that time as if their lives depend on it. Sure we may not always be able to do this, but as long as we do our best. That's all that we can do; our best. The critical thing is that you connect and help your kids become secure in the knowledge that your love and approval is unconditional and ever present - their perception of the strength of your connection will change and shift, but what matters is what you do. And what you must do, is maintain your connection with your kids.
Hang out with me on episode 15 of the podcast where I get a little deeper with this stuff. Episode 15: Sibling Jealousy
It's hard to raise emotionally sensitive kids.
But you don't have to feel so stuck.
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for time-starved parents and teachers
Although we can't control the world or their feelings we can be positively influential and do away with the friction in your interactions with them.
The way to do that is through empathic connection and I want to give you some keys to help you get on track and stay on track.
