Expert guidance and real-world reflections from a child psychiatrist who’s also a parent.
Risk and uncertainty are two different beasts, yet our brains often lump them together. Our minds detest uncertainty.
Perhaps by learning to distinguish between the two, we can take up better control of our anxiety.
Understanding the real risks in any situation and accepting that uncertainty is a part of life is crucial. Step back, evaluate the risk, assign it a value—low or high—and manage it as best you can.
I think this approach helps us handle uncertainty in a more grounded way, keeping anxiety at bay instead of letting it overwhelm us...hopefully. I've worked with this a bit personally and in clinic...it does kinda help a bit.
Imagine the tightrope walker as a child dealing with anxiety—balancing on that rope represents their struggle to manage their fears and uncertainties. The safety net below is like the support system we create for them, ensuring they don’t fall too far if things get tough -sometimes we appraise risk incorrectly and believe we will fall and this will be ...
I know why kids are struggling more than ever with anxiety. Is it arrogance to say such things? Maybe... but hear me out.
Â
Punch line first.
Â
It's our modern world—a mix of digital overload, academic pressure, and societal expectations. But there's good news.
Â
Elaboration now.
Â
I think I know the answer. [Insert Hubris Here].
Â
The Shifting Sands of Religion
Â
First, let's talk about the decline of traditional religion. Before you get excited, I'm not saying this is the reason why we're not doing well. This shift isn't inherently good or bad; in my view, the decline is simply a reflection of the times. A function of detachable attachment. What? Stick with me.
Â
With globalisation, scientific advancements, and a cultural move towards individualism, many young people are stepping away from organised religion. I think young people are less sticky these days.Â
Â
So, where are kids finding their sense of purpose these days? Let's break it down:
Â
1. Social and Environm...
As promised; here are the questions from EP106 of the Parenting with Huddle Wisdom Podcast
Â
1. Questions to Explore the Origins of Anxiety:
a. "When did you first notice feeling worried or anxious?"
b. "Can you remember a time when you didn't feel anxious? What was different then?"
c. "Has anything changed recently in your life that might be making you feel more worried?"
2. Questions to Understand Physical Sensations:
a. "When you feel anxious, what does it feel like in your body?"
b. "Where in your body do you feel the anxiety the most?"
c. "If your anxiety had a color or shape, what would it look like?"
3. Questions to Identify Triggers:
a. "What kinds of situations make you feel the most anxious?"
b. "Is there a particular time of day when you tend to feel more anxious?"
c. "Do you notice any thoughts that pop into your head when you start feeling anxious?"
4. Questions to Explore Coping Mechanisms:
a. "What helps you feel better when you're feeling anxious?"
b. "Is there som...
So, the Surgeon General has declared parental stress an urgent public health issue. Shocking, right? Better not parent indoors or in lifts or on airplanes. Wait. Huh?
While the report does a decent job of highlighting the stressors modern parents face...I think the real culprits are: The erosion of empathy and connection, and our obsession with individuality. These factors in my humble soapbox opinion have created a perfect storm of stressors that make parenting feel like an extreme sport. Sorry RedBull...you've got nothing on modern parenting.
Here are those factors in succinct davin-esk paragraphs. Coz who has time to read these days?
Â
You. Or is it me? Individuality. The modern world loves to celebrate it, often at the expense of communal support and empathy. Back in the day, child-rearing was a team effort. Remember the village? No; I can't either.Â
Extended families and close-knit communities provided a robust support network. Fast forward
...Helping Hard-to-Engage Kids Talk About Anxiety (and Why the Right Question Might Surprise You)
Anxiety among children has nearly doubled in recent years. According to a recent meta-analysis, around 20.5% of youth worldwide now experience anxiety symptoms. That’s roughly 1 in 5 kids.
Many of these children are hard to reach—not because they don’t want help, but because they don’t yet know how to talk about what’s going on inside.
So how do we support kids who shut down, resist, or retreat into silence?
Let me share a story that illustrates what’s possible when we lead with empathy and curiosity—even if it means taking a bit of a risk.
Â
I was working with a 15-year-old who played video games for 7 hours a day and put in just 2 hours of schoolwork. He didn’t want to be there. He said it plainly.
But instead of confronting him about school, I surprised him.
I asked:
👉 “Why aren’t you playing more video games?”
Yes, you read that rig...
As parents, we often seek the best ways to support our children, especially when they feel anxious or overwhelmed. Traditional methods like the “compliment sandwich”—where criticism is sandwiched between two compliments—can sometimes feel forced and ineffective. Okay, hear me out: let’s think “noodles, not sandwiches.” This simple yet powerful analogy can transform how we encourage and bolster our children’s self-esteem and connect with them on a deeper level.
Imagine your child as a raw noodle—firm and crunchy, full of potential but needing the right conditions to thrive. With time, warmth, and the right ingredients, that noodle can transform into something amazing. Here’s how each core element of the noodle analogy can help you support and connect with your anxious child:
Water (Warmth)
So...It’s a typical Tuesday evening. You’ve just finished preparing dinner, and you call your teen to the table. Instead of the usual chatter, you’re met with a sullen silence. Your teen slumps into their chair, barely acknowledging your presence. You ask about their day, and the response is a curt, “Fine.” You try to engage them in conversation, but every attempt is met with eye rolls and monosyllabic answers.
Later, you remind them to finish their homework and tidy up their room. Suddenly, the calm breaks. “Why do you always nag me? I hate you!” they shout before storming off to their room, slamming the door behind them.
You’re left standing there, heart aching and mind racing. What just happened? Why does your teen seem to hate you?
If this scenario sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many parents experience these challenging moments with their teens. But before you take it personally, it’s important to understand what’s really going on. Let’s explore why your teen
...Â
Whining: Understanding and Managing This Common Challenge
Whining is a behavior that can test the patience of even the most composed parents. From toddlers demanding toys to teenagers negotiating curfews, this persistent issue can strain family dynamics. According to a survey by BabyCenter, 67% of parents find whining to be the most frustrating behavior in their children. Understanding the root causes of whining and implementing effective strategies is crucial for fostering a harmonious home environment.
Reinforcement Through Response Children quickly learn that whining garners attention, even if it’s negative. Research published in the Journal of Applied Behaviour Analysis found that parental attention, regardless of its nature, can reinforce whining behavior in 85% of cases. When parents consistently yield to demands or respond to whining, they inadvertently teach their children that this tactic is effective.
Real-life example: The Smith
...Â